


I Can't Drown My Demons (they know how to swim)

by Eringo94



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rise of Empire Era - All Media Types
Genre: Darth Vader needs a hug, Lots of Angst, Not A Fix-It, sorry for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:58:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4094896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eringo94/pseuds/Eringo94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darth Vader is tasked with killing the remaining Jedi on Dantooine. Things do not go according to plan. Takes place two years after Episode III. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Drown My Demons (they know how to swim)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi… I’m alive! I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a story. I wont give you the boring details. Things have just been kind of hectic. Please accept this story as an apology? <3
> 
> I hope I have some Star Wars fans out there. I’ve been playing around with this idea for around a year- I haven’t really gotten to writing it down until now. Its probably not my best work- but hey, whatevs ;) For those who aren’t really into Star Wars (shame on you btw) don’t worry, I have some Marvel stories planned. But for now, please enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything Star Wars related nor do I own the lyrics.

"I can fear death no longer; I’ve died a thousand times  
There’s emptiness inside our heads… but no one dares to dwell"

 

“Lord Vader, we are coming out of hyperspace. Shall I prepare the 501st for landing?”

Darth Vader did not give Commander Bow any indication that he had heard him. He continued to gaze out the window, into the vast endlessness that was space. Except now, his eyes zeroed in on a large planet smack in the middle of it. 

Dantooine. A blur of green and blue, and populated with pathetic life forms. Simple farmers.

Farmers who were reckless enough to house a jedi, apparently. Behind the mask, hidden from the universe, his disfigured lips curved into a cruel hard smile. He had received word from Coruscant that Jedi Knight Me’ra had been discovered hiding on the surface of the planet. She had been fortunate to escape death in the Jedi Temple two years ago. Vader glared at the planet and imagined running his lightsaber through her body. She would not escape death a second time. 

“No. The Jedi will not be a problem. Remain in orbit and await my command.” Commander Bow nodded and went to do his Lord’s bidding.

Vader turned back to the window. Even from space, a cold and endless vacuum, he could sense her. You cannot hide from me Jedi. He was going to enjoy this. The Jedi were a thorn in side to the Galactic Empire. They needed to be eradicated to restore peace to the galaxy. Vader was happy to be their executioner. 

Briskly, he turned and began walking to his personal shuttle. 

()()()

Vader noted that it was not difficult in finding Knight Me’ra. She was pathetically attempting to shield herself and the farmers that housed her. Foolish girl, you cannot hide yourself from me. The force easily led him to the correct house. He numbly noted that people were screaming. Of course they would be. He was well known all across the galaxy. He has killed thousands of people. Men, women, and children alike. These pathetic beings were scrambling to get away from him, hoping that the Empire hadn’t sent him to kill them and their families. He only had eyes for one, however. 

Vader stopped about ten feet from a wooden two-story house. This was where the force led him. He can sense her. He smirked under the mask as he could practically feel her heart burst through her chest. With one arm, he activated his red lightsaber. He extended the other towards the house, pulled the force towards him, let it course through his body, and blasted the front door open. He walked slowly over it and stepped inside the house, slowly, his lightsaber gripped tightly in his hands. Vader noted that the house seemed empty. He stepped inside the small kitchenette and was not impressed with the mess that lay before him.

“You are not welcomed here Vader. Leave. Now.”

Vader snickered under his mask and turned around. Knight Me’ra stood in the hallway, her blue lightsaber illuminating her in the darkness as she pointed it at him. She was young, probably about twenty years old. “Why Me’ra, I was worried that you ran decided to run off after all.”

Me’ra did not respond to the taunt. She did not lower her lightsaber, not did she give up her defensive stance. Vader did not miss the beads of sweat that were slowly making their way down her face. Her entire body was taut, ready to fight at a seconds notice. The force was a maelstrom around her. 

“Surely you realize that you will not win this battle Me’ra? It is pointless to resist. Put down your lightsaber and come quietly.” Me’ra laughed mirthlessly. “You’re more insane than thought if you think I will surrender quietly to you, traitor.” Vader felt her anger through the force, felt her sense of betrayal, her thirst for vengeance. 

“Then you will fall to the same fate as your master did. I will cut you down as I did Master Tahling.” Me’ra eyes widened in shock. Her grief was evident on her face. As was her fury. Vader sneered and pressed on. “He was a coward. He did not stand and fight. He attempted to escape like the vermin that he was. I took great pleasure in running my blade through his chest.”

“LIAR!” Vader expertly raised his lightsaber and deflected her attack. Her blows were sloppy, uncoordinated. She was allowing her feelings to get in the way. There was fire in her eyes, a deep desire to kill him. He easily blocked all her attempts to disarm him. It was child’s play, really. Killing her would almost be boring. He used the force and pushed her back into the living area. She was breathing heavily. She had a hand around her abs, where he had viciously kicked her. Her lips were split and bleeding. Sweat was plastered to her face. Was she perhaps just realizing that her time was at an end? 

“Do you give up?”

“I… I will n-never surrender to a Sith lord,” she said vehemently said. So quickly he almost missed it, she glanced upwards to the second floor. Vader cocked his heady to the side slightly. Curious. 

“So be it.” With that, he extended his hand. Torrents of electricity rushed from his hand and engulfed her body. She couldn’t bring her lightsaber up fast enough to deflect his attack. Her screams of agony echoed throughout the house. This went on for one, two, three minutes. He eventually lowered his hand and let the electricity stop flowing from his fingertips. Me’ra was mess on the floor. Burns covered most of her body. She breath was coming out in wheezes. He imagined the smell of her rotten and cooked flesh. She cracked her eyes open to Vader’s huge figure looming over her, his lightsaber dangerously close to her throat. Still, she extended her arm and attempted to raise her own lightsaber. 

Vader watched in amusement and did not feel bad at all as he pressed down on her hand with hit boot. He relished the sound of her arm breaking. She couldn’t stifle the moan that tore through her throat. 

(There is no death, there is the force.)

“Prepare for death Jedi,” Vader spat. She glared defiantly into his mask and imagined the man underneath the mask. She did not fear death. She welcomed it. She was ready to become one with the force. And yet… her eyes skidded upwards once more. Vader did not fail to notice this.

She was hiding something.

And then he sensed it. To weak, the shield that Me’ra had put over the house disappeared. He could sense her. Me’ra was hiding another force sensitive being upstairs. With his newfound knowledge, Vader smiled evilly.

“Before you die Me’ra, know that the person you attempted to hide from my presence will meet the same, bitter end as you.” The last thing Me’ra felt was terror and the never-ending sense of failure before Vader plunged his saber through her heart.

For a long second, the only thing that could be heard is Vader’s deep mechanical breathing. He proceeded to climb the stairs to the second floor. As he force led him closer and closer to his destination, he berated himself for not sensing the signature of the other force sensitive being. He was the dark lord of the Sith. A knight the likes of Me’ra should not have been able to actively shield someone like she did. His let his wrath guide him, and did not hesitate to kick down the door on the right side of the hallway. He was surprised by the sight that greeted him.

A woman no older than thirty was backed into the corner of what looked to be a simple crèche. She held a blaster pointed at him in one hand and concealing something else with her other. The woman glared at Vader, her eyes burning with hatred, malice, and fear. Vader immediately realized that the she was not force sensitive. But the person she was attempting to hide behind her was indeed force sensitive… 

A child. 

Me’ra had been hiding from him this young boy from him. Why did he suddenly feel cold? The sound of shots being fire snapped him out of his stupor and he activated his lightsaber just in time to deflect the blaster shots.

“Get the hell away from us.” The woman kept firing, ignoring the fact that she was doing nothing to hurt the sith lord. Vader hissed angrily and sent the blaster flying from her hands. Enough of this. That child is a danger to the Empire. He was most likely taken by Me’ra from the temple when she escaped. You have killed children before. What is another? 

Vader began to march toward them just as she did the same. Did this woman really think she was going to brawl with him? He easily sidestepped her punch and threw one of his own. She quickly recovered and did everything in her power to stop him from getting to the child.

“I grow tired of this,” he declared menacingly. He used the force to throw her at the wall on the opposite side of the bedroom. The boy was standing where the woman left him, looking at the room’s destruction in awe. He looked at Vader with huge blue eyes. Vader activated his lightsaber again. The boy looked at it in wonder, not realizing that it was the instrument of his imminent death. Vader glared at him. He hated this child. He hated the way that he looked at him, as if he was not his murderer. He raised his saber, deciding that a quick cut to the throat would be how the boy would meet his end. 

“No!” Suddenly, a vicious pain cut through his shoulder. He whirled around and saw the woman leaning heavily on the wall, the blaster held tightly in her hands. There is fresh blood oozing from a cut on her temple. She had her other hand pressed tightly to her ribcage. Her eyes were wide with manic that Vader had only ever seen in two women in his life. Her desire to protect the boy ran deep to her core. Vader knew without a doubt that this woman loved the boy very much. Foolish woman. Love will be your undoing.

Before she could fire again, Vader reached his hand towards her. Vader relished the sound of her gasp, as she suddenly couldn’t breathe. She wheezed in fear and let the blaster fall from her hand. She fell to the ground and clawed at her throat, hoping to dislodge the entity choking her. Vader smirked in satisfaction as she attempted to draw breath. She would pay with her life for trying to stop him. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do to—

The sob that tore its way out of the boy’s throat startled Vader. For a moment, he had forgotten that the boy had even existed. He was crying in earnest, a stream of tears leaking from his eyes. He was looking at the woman, no doubt feeling her pain through the force. 

Vader did not understand why, but he released the woman from his death grip. She gulped in huge amounts of breath, and weakly lifted her head. Vader remained immobile, even as the boy rushed away from him and into the woman’s embrace. Still gasping for air, she cradled the boy in her arms. She stared at Vader in absolute shock. He thought that perhaps his expression mirrored hers. She coughed heavily as she grabbed her blaster again. Shakily, she pointed it again at Vader. 

Vader felt as if he could not breathe. His felt as if his heart was racing. In a state of panic, checked his suit’s systems. Everything appeared to be in order. There was no malfunction. Why did he feel this way? He raised his hands and saw through the red tint of his mask that they were shaking. He looked at the woman and the child again. The boy had peeked from under her hand and was staring at him with curiosity again. The woman still appeared to be shocked. Her eyes were wide with amazement, fear, and disbelief. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth wouldn’t work properly.

He almost jumped when he got a transmission from Commander Bow. “Lord Vader, the Emperor is waiting for a status report on your mission.” The woman tightened her grip on her blaster and eyed the hologram and Vader warily. Vader managed to shake off his stupor in order to respond.

“Relay to him that Dantooine has been purged of all force sensitive beings. I am leaving the planet now.” With that, Vader clipped his lightsaber onto his belt, and made his way out of the house. He did not look back.

()()()

“My lord, the Emperor is requesting a private audience with you,” Commander Bow said as he entered the Executor’s bridge. 

“Very well. I shall go and meet with him. Prepare our route back to Coruscant immediately,” he replied. Commander Bow nodded and observed the dark lord leave the bridge. He wanted to ask if he was in good health, but thought better of it. 

 

()()()

Vader sat heavily in his meditation chamber. He was impatient to get his mask off. It suddenly felt too constrictive over his head. As it came off, he breathed in deeply through his burned nose. He held in the air for a moment or two, before slowly letting it recede from his mouth. People took their abilities to breath naturally and on their own for granted. He felt his sense of dependence keenly and it aggravated him greatly. 

That wasn’t all that was bothering him though, and he knew it. Today’s events shook him to the core. Why couldn’t he kill that boy and annoying woman? Surly she had earned her death for stupidly thinking she could defeat him? He had killed so many women and children before. The massacre inside the Jedi Temple two years ago was testimony to that. How was today any different? 

(Master Skywalker there are too many of them, what are we going to do?)

Vader sighed heavily and looked towards the ceiling of his chamber. He shut his eyes at the memory of striking down the younglings at the temple. He growled in frustration. He knew. He knew why he couldn’t strike them down. Why killing Me’ra was so very easy and them so very impossible.

(STOP! Stop now come back! I love you!)

The idiotic woman reminded him of Padme. Strong. Passionate. Brave. Unrelenting in her desire to protect and fight for the people she loved. Padme had been so sure she could save him from himself. She was so sure they could have a beautiful life together with their children. Vader hung his head in his hands and willed himself not to mourn for a life that could have been. His own child would have been approximately the same age as the boy. Maybe he would have had the same color eyes—

Furiously, Vader grabbed punched the closest thing near him. He relished the pain from the impact on his bare skin. “Anakin Skywalker is dead,” he snarled to nobody. 

And yet, his grief was the same. 

"Can you hear the silence  
Can you see the dark  
Can you fix the broken  
Can you feel my heart?"

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics and title come from the two songs: “Hospital for Souls” & “Can You Feel My Heart,” which are both by Bring Me the Horizon. I highly recommend you take a listen to them. If you see any mistakes, kindly point them out to me :)


End file.
